And every week, watching this show, I'm constantly reminded of how privileged I am, and how grateful I should be, and my feeling of gratitude is certainly growing stronger and stronger. It's bittersweet for me though, because I feel so bad about myself realizing how ungrateful I can be at times, and it makes me really sad to come to terms with that. But now that I'm taking it upon myself to to strengthen certain aspects and ingrain things I find important in my personality, I think I'll be less self conscious about it.
Other than watching television for the past G-d knows how long, I've been religiously surfing grouphug.us. Nicole was the angel who presented this website to me, and I think it's safe to say I'm thoroughly addicted. I really can't say why it's so appealing to read other peoples secrets. Postsecret, grouphug, livejournal, there's all these options now to submit and read things any random person thinks, and it's touching, it's funny, it's heart breaking, it's life changing, it's everything. Really, I think I have experienced a cornucopia of human emotions in just the past hour reading these things.
What do you feel when you read this one?
"I still love him, despite the fact that all my friends, psychologist, and psychiatrist tell me he’s bad for me. I miss him more than anything in the world right now.
He claims that we won’t be able to get along until I can accept that he’ll step on me. We’ve been apart for a while now. I know he’s emotionally abusive, though unintentionally.
However, I still love him with all my heart, and losing him tears me up so badly."
And this one?
"once I pulled over to the side of the road and beat it into a jack in the box cup"Or this one?
"I’m 27 and I stumbled on to this site. Reading all these confessions made me realize how normal a child I really was. I am a happy mother of 3. Very much in love with my husband and my whole life kicks ass. When I was a teenager I sounded exactly like everyone of these confessions. I slept with like 30 guys by the time i was 15 to make my self feel wanted and I did drugs and even tried to kill my self. I want everyone to know life has been like a cirlcle. I think it gets so rough so you can appreciate how fullfilling life can become. Embrace how empty you feel and one day it will only allow you to feel exstatically complete. Promise."
&
"Ok, I chickened out! I am more than fond of you, I love you"
I don't know if they're real, and frankly I don't care. The spelling errors don't even bother me that much, and that really means something, considering I'm an English freak. And it's not just the whole "now I know I'm not the only one who feels this way" thing, because I don't plan on ever pulling over to the side of the road beating it into a Jack in the Box cup. Forgive me for that reference, I know that's not quite anatomically possible. I think I like these sites just because of the contrast, the beauty they portray and the despair they portray and the vast variety of emotions experienced just by reading all of them at once.
Okay. Kissing Kate Barlow is calling my name.
